Deziree Lovas + myself
Photo by Brian Vu
Deziree Lovas + myself
Photo by Brian Vu
The Rumblr’s in-house astrologer, Madame Clairevoyant, presents her latest dispatch from the stars:
Aries: This week, your own world is going fall into some kind of strange orbit around you; this week, everything’s going to work out the way you need it to. Every single thing is going to be okay. Try to believe this, try to let it move you, try to let it light your way. This week you can be daring, you can be weird, you can be your best self. Spend your days with the people who believe in your magic even more than you do. Spend your days outside; spend your days with the windows open.
Taurus: This week, the world’s going to unfold itself slowly and carefully. This week, the things you’ve been waiting for will start to show themselves. If you’re not patient you could walk right by and not notice the hints of green; if you’re not patient you could walk right by and never see the bright moments of gold. You might not even realize how long you’ve been waiting; you might not even realize how bad you’ve needed the gentle love your world can show you this week. Live quietly and listen to songs about joy.
Gemini: This week, feel the world you move through speeding up, and feel yourself speeding up in it. Even if you don’t yet know where you’re going, let yourself pick up speed. As you move through your days, let the energy of the sun and the sky and the street build up inside of you; let it keep you going. Keep moving this week, even if you’re not sure where, even if you’re not sure why, even if you don’t think you’re ready to arrive. Watch thunderstorms this week, watch the tides. Trust that you’re where you should be.
Cancer: Some things might feel messy this week; some things might feel strange, out of order, mixed up. This is a week for rearranging, for putting the pieces back together, for changing the shape of your world if you want to, if you need it. It might not sound like it but it’s such a gift, such a blessing, such a chance. This week you can rebuild your heart and you can rebuild your home and you can make things better; you can make it right. Cook foods that take a long time; cook meals that make you feel strong.
Leo: This week, watch the world around you pick up color, watch it gain in brightness, watch it shimmer like sunlight on a lake. Your world is going to be full of such beauty it could knock you over; your world is going to be filled with such a clear gentle light, it won’t even make sense. Let this goodness fill you up; let it make you brave; let it make you the kindest version of yourself. Call your family. Fill your house with flowers, or eat fruit, or watch the trees outside begin to bud.
Virgo: You’re maybe going to feel like you don’t know everything you should this week, like you’re in the dark, like there are doors you need to open, like there clues and secrets and keys you need to find before you can finally live. Try to remember that you already have the things that you need. Try to remember the steel in your bones and the warmth in your heart. Write letters, write in your journal, write stories you can look to when you need to be reassured that you’re wise and you’re brave and you’re true.
Libra: This week, if you want, you can make so much noise. This week, if you want, you can get noticed, you can be seen. Think about your sharp edges, think about your most jagged dreams. This is a week for speaking the strangest truths you can. This is a week for letting yourself breathe and letting yourself grow. Think about the noisy songs in your heart and let them sound in the night. Let yourself glow like a beacon, let yourself shine like gold, let yourself catch the light, let yourself light up your town.
Scorpio: This week, everything’s going to be okay, and your world is going to be a little soft, and your days will be filled with small bright things. This week, you can believe that everything will only get better and better; this week, you can make it true. Feel the strength that’s been sitting inside you, quiet and sleepy all winter long. This week, feel your own weird power move through you, feel all the things you can do, and don’t hold back. Don’t be scared of your own vitality. Drink so much coffee and watch the sun rise.
Sagittarius: This week is going to be full of turning points, full of possibilities, full of invitations to change your whole life. You don’t have to say yes, but try to pay attention, try to always remember that they’re there. Try to always remember that everything could change. Try to remember that there are exits, there are ways out, there are different lives that could be yours, if you want them. It’s not about the changing, this week; it’s about the choosing, it’s about living the life that you’ve built on purpose.
Capricorn: This week is for living in goodness, as much as you can; it’s for living in light, it’s for living in long sweet afternoons, it’s for going to the park and watching your world get green. Try not to worry so much about your plans; try not to worry so much about your bright bendy future. Try not to worry so much about how to live best, just let the morning sun touch your face. Listen to the music that pours out of other people’s windows, other people’s cars, other people’s headphones on the bus.
Aquarius: You’re going to be given so many choices this week; you’re going to be given so many different ways you could live. Try to be as daring as you can. Try to be guided by courage; try to be guided by your dreams more than your fear. This is a week to make choices that seem strange even to the people who know you best. This is a week to trust your guts, it’s a week to trust the wisdom that lives in your muscles and bones. Tell your weirdest stories. Listen to Joanna Newsom.
Pisces: The world is going to show you so much this week; the world is going to stretch out like the widest field, like the longest highway, like the densest bluest night. This week, it’s okay to ask for what you need, in this huge strange world. It’s okay to tell the truth to anyone who asks for it. It’s okay to tell your friends how you want to be treated, how you need to be listened to, how you need to be loved. Listen to the ocean, listen to the river, listen to songs about staying.
Today’s image was made specially for Madame Clairevoyant by Jen May.
third time’s a charm or whatever
As women, when we’re children we’re taught to enter the world with big hearts. Blooming hearts. Hearts bigger than our damn fists. We are taught to forgive - constantly - as opposed to what young boys are taught: Revenge, to get ‘even.’ Our empathy is constantly made appeals to, often demanded for. If we refuse to show kindness, we are reprimanded. We are not good women if we do not crush our bones to make more space for the world, if we do not spread our entire skin over rocks for others to tread on, if we do not kill ourselves in every meaning of the word in the process of making it cozy for everyone else. It is the heat generated by the burning of our bodies with which the world keeps warm. We are taught to sacrifice so much for so little. This is the general principle all over the world.
By the time we are young women, we are tired. Most of us are drained. Some of us enter a lock of silence because of that lethargy. Some of us lash out. When I think of that big, blooming heart we once had, it looks shriveled and worn out now. When I was teaching, I had a young student named Mariam. She was only 11 years old. Some boy pushed her around in class, called her names, broke her spirit for the day. We were sitting under a chestnut tree on a field trip and she asked me if a boy ever hurt me. I told her many did and I destroyed them one by one. I think that’s the first time she ever heard the word ‘destroyed.’ We rarely teach our girls to fight back for the right reasons.
Take up more space as a woman. Take up more time. Take your time. You are taught to hide, censor, move about without messing up decorum for a man’s comfort. Whether it’s said or not, you’re taught balance. Forget that. Displease. Disappoint. Destroy. Be loud, be righteous, be messy. Mess up and it’s fine – you are learning to unlearn. Do not see yourself like glass. Like you could get dirty and clean. You are flesh. You are not constant. You change. Society teaches women to maintain balance and that robs us of our volatility. Our mercurial hearts. Calm and chaos. Love only when needed; preserve otherwise.
Do not be a moth near the light; be the light itself. Do not let a man’s ocean-big ego swallow you up. Know what you want. Ask yourself first. Decide your own pace. Decide your own path. Be cruel when needed. Be gentle only when needed. Collapse and then re-construct. When someone says you are being obscene, say yes I am. When they say you are being wrong, say yes I am. When they say you are being selfish, say yes I am. Why shouldn’t I be? How do you expect a woman to stand on her two feet if you keep striking her at the ankles.
There are multiple lessons we must teach our young girls so that they render themselves their own pillars instead of keeping male approval as the focal point of their lives. It is so important to state your feelings of inconvenience as a woman. We are instructed to tailor ourselves and our discomfort - constantly told that we are ‘whining’ and ‘nagging’ and ‘complaining too much.’ That kind of silence is horribly violent, that kind of insistence upon uniformly nodding in agreement to your own despair, and smiling emptily so no man is ever uncomfortable around us. Male-entitlement dictates a woman’s silence. If we could see the mimetic model of the erasure of a woman’s voice, it would be an incredibly bloody sight.
On a breezy July night, my mother and I were sleeping under the open sky. Before dozing off, I told her that I think there is a special place in heaven where all wounded women bury their broken hearts and their hearts grow into trees that only give fruit to the good and poison to the bad. She smiled and said Ameen. Then she closed her eyes.
this is so empowering! beautiful
this fuzzy green children’s cardigan i found at the recycling centre is the best thing ever because it feels like i am covered in moss and lichen. it’s really thick & makes me look a lot wider & i feel like maybe a really solid tree in a fairytale. one with witchy powers & the ability to communicate with people and animals and spirits.
so uhhh, it’s obviously super rough, but this is the underwires demo.
also I sorta wrote the words for this song (although a bunch of what I wrote got scrapped/changed). It’s about hating doctors/but still needing them to be able to access shit.
I’ll be selling prints, cards and a *new* Fancy zine at the Crafty Fox Market in Bussey Building, Peckham this Sunday 13th April. I’ll also have reprinted copies of Fancy 1! Details can be found here
My only pointer is be tougher than everyone else which you already are. I’m so excited! !!
i think i may be doing vocals in a hardcore punx band & like all i have ever done musically involves pedals & found sounds & drum machines, so i don’t even know if i can actually physically yell & be tough and commanding with my voice & how do i negotiate timing & help me, give me pointers?
grace rosario, oakland, 2014